Life on the Second Normandy
by LeftBrainThinker
Summary: A series of Shepard/Tali moments with... interference from fellow crew mates on the new ship. Begins right after Tali's recruitment on Haestorm and ends after a modified victory over the Reapers. Rated M for later chapters.
1. Back at Last

**Author's Note: I wanted to try a continuous story for my second post on this site, and I think that so far it's going well. Reviews and comments are welcome. **

* * *

She was back. She was finally back.

Ever since Shepard had been revived by Cerberus after the attack on the original Normandy two years ago, the Commander had been surrounded by people he wasn't sure he could trust. Having Garrus, Joker and Chakwas around helped, sure, but it just wasn't the same. Shepard knew what, or rather who, was missing from his new ship, and today she finally returned to him.

Shepard hit the fourth omni-interfaced elevator button and began his decent into engineering. On the third level, however, the elevator stopped early, and Garrus stepped inside to join him.

"I didn't think you'd be down here so quickly. I was planning to wait above Jack's hidey-hole for you and everything." Said Garrus with what Shepard could only assume was the Turian equivalent of a smirk.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Shepard responded calmly as he kept his eyes glued to the door.

"You seem a bit eager to meet with our old squad mate; got anything you need to say to her? Any, heartfelt confessions you need to get off your chest?"

"Garrus, I lost everything in what seemed like a few hours. Forgive me if I want to hold onto whatever I can get back."

The elevator doors opened, but Garrus blocked Shepard's path before he could leave, "Look, I understand that, in fact, that's what I wanted to tell you."

He stared at Garrus quizzically, "What do you mean?"

"Look Shepard," he began, "you gave me a lot of advice on our hunt for Saren, and now is the time for me to return the favor. Life is short, Shepard. I know you have feelings for Tali, hell, everyone back then did. You were always so protective of her, and not just when we were fighting."

Shepard's mind wandered to the day he berated Ashley after she began questioning his decision to bring aliens on board. Even though he stuck by with what he said, he ended up apologizing to her later. The two of them even became friends and consoled each other after Kaidan died.

Garrus continued, "And I get the feeling that she may feel the same way. What I'm trying to say is that we aren't asari; we don't get 100 years of waiting around before we decide who to settle down with. Our lives are short. Take your shot, Shepard."

Shepard thought on it for a bit before answering, "… Maybe you're right Garrus. It's just hard to imagine it working out. She probably wouldn't want to be with someone who isn't a quarian."

"Maybe, but it'll eat at you if you do nothing. Besides, how embarrassing would it be if word got out that the savior of the Citadel can't handle women? Go get her."

"Fine, fine. You win." Shepard relented, "But it'll be on my terms. Now get out of here."

"I'd rather watch."

"Now."

Garrus chuckled to himself as he rode the elevator back to the crew deck, as Shepard sighed deeply before heading through the door.

* * *

"Shepard, what can I do for you?" Tali greeted with thinly veiled enthusiasm. She had hoped his daily rounds hadn't been something that had changed about him over the past two years. So far, nothing seemed different, except for one obvious problem…

"Do you have a minute to talk?"

Tali glanced over at the two Cerberus engineers to her left and nodded to Shepard to follow her to the drive core.

When they got there, she began, "Sorry about that, Shepard. As much I trust you, I can't trust Cerberus, no matter how friendly they may seem."

Shepard smiled, "Believe me, I don't blame you. They'll probably betray us at some point, but we took down enough Cerberus bases that they can't stand a chance against us. You'd probably hack everything they've ever loved."

Tali blushed behind her mask, "You know I couldn't do that, they have some of the best cyber security in the galaxy."

"And we have one of the best engineers in the galaxy. That's one of the reasons I needed you back…" Shepard trailed off. He knew that he shouldn't overstep his bounds like that when she just got back.

"Only one? Why else do you need me?" She said in almost a devious tone. She knew she didn't have a chance with Shepard, but she didn't mind the compliment.

"Well, you were always there for me, and you never questioned me or what I thought about the Reapers. Even when I asked you to follow me around the galaxy to catch a dangerous rouge Spectre, you were there for me. Even when the Council wrote me off as a raving lunatic, you were there for me. Now, two years later after you thought I was dead, you dropped everything to come back because you thought it was the right thing to do. I missed you, Tali. I needed you here with me."

Tali was stunned. She barely began to speak again, "Well… Garrus did all of that too. Did he get this talk?"

"Garrus was there too, but he's not nearly as attractive." Shepard said with a smirk. His confidence in the conversation evaporated about half a second after he realized what he had just said, _Shit. Went a little too far with that last one._

"I… thank you Shepard. I uh…" She was completely speechless.

"Engineering stuff?" Shepard asked quickly. He had to get out of there, things were getting awkward.

"Yes! Thanks for coming Shepard."

"No problem Tali, I'll talk to you later…" Replied Shepard as he turned and walked away.

"I missed you too…" Tali said back in almost a whisper. Shepard stopped in his tracks as he heard that.

All he could do was turn half-way around and smile at her. Maybe he hadn't done as poorly as he thought.


	2. Changes

**Author's Note:**** Seeing as though people seemed to like what I wrote, I'll be continuing on. For other things I've written, go to G-Sketch on Deviant Art for a web comic that she and I collaborated on, along with an entire gallery of her art. **

**So for this chapter I wanted to go a bit into how Shepard is dealing with the Lazarus Project and the two years that passed in his absence. Things run longer than I'm used to but I think it came out well. Let me know what you think. Enjoy!**

**EDIT: A few minor changes were made. It seems I was a bit too excited and published this before proofreading properly. Sorry about that.**

Shepard splashed his face with water from the sink in his private quarters. He couldn't stop looking at himself in the mirror. Even after all this time the scars from his two years of surgery haven't left his jawline and cheeks.

Shepard was disgusted with himself.

He ultimately reminded himself of Saren. The implants, the Reaper technology that resurrected him, it was all unnatural. He wondered if the crew looked at him differently because of them. Maybe they judged him, or called him a freak show behind his back. He usually wouldn't care about these sorts of things, but one thought kept crossing his mind:

_Maybe Tali sees me differently. _Shepard thought to himself. Tali was already suspicious about Shepard working with Cerberus, but being half synthetic as well? There was a decent possibility that Tali was wary of him due to the changes, but was too polite to say anything.

Then there was the matter of his old scars. Truthfully, Shepard had taken pride in the lessons in every scrape, burn and cut he had earned during his years of military service had to offer: the large gash across his right eye and acid burns on his left shoulder taught him about true survival in a hopeless scenario, and the bullet wounds he had received during the Skyllian Blitz had taught him of self-sacrifice.

Now they had all been replaced with cybernetic scars, which taunted him with the knowledge that his sacrifice would result in him losing everything and turn him into somewhat of a pariah among those he used to consider family.

Ashley entered his mind. Just before he made his way to Hock's party for Kasumi, he had seen Ashley on Horizon. She was bitter, called Garrus and him traitors; she did everything besides spit on them. And then she was gone. As if they had never been friends.

Shepard tried to put those thoughts out of his mind, and decided to go down to the Crew Deck for dinner. Perhaps someone down there could take his mind off of it. He put on his new suit and headed down to the crew deck for dinner.

* * *

When he got there, Mess Sargent Gardner served him a plate of his freshly made gumbo. As he approached the table in the mess with his new-and-improved dish, he noticed that Jack, of all people, was calmly sitting at the corner of the table while picking at her dinner.

"Didn't expect to see you here." Shepard chided with a smirk on his face as he sat down across from the powerful biotic. Shepard had only recruited her about a week or two ago, but in that short time he had realized that she's had a very miserable life and is, above all else, lonely. He was the only person who she ever talked to, and even then it was usually due to him seeking her out. He felt a distinct mix of pity and empathy for her, wishing that she'd let at least some of the other crewmembers in, as opposed to immediately writing their entire being off as, "Cerberus bullshit".

"I have to eat, right?" Jack replied with the blunt gruffness that Shepard had grown accustomed to when speaking to her.

"Still, it's rare to see you out of your hole. Usually you grab your food and run back down there before anyone says anything. Either that or you just don't show up at all."

"You've been bitching at me for days about bein' more social, or some shit. So here I am."

Shepard smiled inwardly to himself. He didn't expect that she'd actually listen to him, "Well, I'm glad you took my advice. I think you would get along best with…" Shepard cut himself short when he saw Garrus sliding… Whatever the green fluid inside his dextro-rations can was onto his plate.

Shepard beckoned his Turian friend, "Garrus! Grab your disgusting food and sit over here!" Garrus hesitated at first, but then decided to join the two as he plopped down next to Shepard.

Jack regarded Garrus with mild contempt, "I remember you. You were with Shepard the day I broke out of Purgatory."

Garrus grunted to himself, "I've been on the same ship as you for two weeks, and you still don't know my name. Still, you're friendlier than Miranda." Garrus shrugged as he began eating his… meal.

"Don't even compare me to that Cerberus bitch." Jack shot back with a look of pure irritation.

"See Shepard? I told you, everyone hates your new XO."

Jack seemed to calm down thanks to Garrus' comment, before Shepard glanced over both of his shoulders to respond, "You think I like her? Half the time she's questioning me for doing anything more morally acceptable than eating babies, and I'm pretty sure the other half of her time is spent plotting my downfall so she can take over." The three of them lightly laughed about it. It was nice, seeing Jack in a mood that didn't involve murder. Garrus had seemed different ever since he came back onto the Normandy, so it was good to see him laughing as well. As for Shepard, he was actually enjoying himself, which didn't happen as often as he liked.

"What are you three laughing about?" Shepard nearly jumped out of his seat when he heard that feminine voice behind him, as he tried desperately to think of an excuse so he didn't have to hear Miranda complain about him, "undermining her authority" again.

It took him a few seconds to realize that it was actually Tali who had been behind him, holding a half-empty tube of her Quarian nutrient paste.

"Jesus, Tali. I thought you were Miranda! You scared me for a second." Shepard chided as he tried to avoid the fact that he had almost shit his pants.

"And here I was starting to think you weren't a pussy."

"Thank you, Jack!" Shepard barked back as his three squad mates laughed at his expense. It didn't really bother him though; he enjoyed seeing others happy more than being happy himself.

"Well, now that things are getting crowded, I'm gone." Jack said as she polished picked up her plate of slightly-picked-at gumbo and headed for the elevator, "You know where to find me Shepard."

When she left, Tali took Jack's place across from Shepard and began eating her paste. They were silent for a moment until Garrus spoke up, "So you have a knack for attracting the crazy ones, don't you?"

Shepard shrugged nonchalantly as he took another bite before speaking, "I dunno, I feel bad. Her life has obviously been crap up to this point, so I try to reach out. I do it for my entire crew. You should know, ex-officer Vakarian." Shepard taunted as he pointed at Garrus with his fork.

"Besides," he continued, "I can tell she's a good person. Maybe a bit rough, but still good. It wouldn't kill you two to try to get to know her a bit."

Garrus seemed to mull it over before finally agreeing to visit Jack now and then. Tali did the same, but she was looking at Shepard in a certain way, so much so that he could tell that something was slightly off even with her mask on.

"Is something wrong, Tali?" He asked in a concerned tone.

Tali seemed to realize that she was staring, and responded in her usual flustered tone, "Oh! No, Shepard, sorry about that. But, um… What are you wearing?"

Shepard seemed a bit confused by the question, but answered in kind, "It's just a suit, or classy human attire. I've never owned a good one, but Katsumi sent me this for that mission of hers, and it grew on me. Why?"

"No reason… It's just… You look handsome, Shepard." Tali said in an even more frazzled tone than before.

"Well, that's my cue to leave. I'll see you two later." Garrus curtly stated as he got up and left with his… food, and while Shepard appreciated being given alone time with Tali, he wished that Garrus had been a bit more tactful about it. He had to remember to hit him later.

Just then, Shepard realized he hadn't said anything to Tali's compliment, and quickly replied, "Thanks Tali…" Shepard looked down at the table for a moment, "Can I ask you something?"

"What is it?" She replied with a hint of concern.

"Well…" Shepard wasn't quite sure how to ask, "Tali, do you trust me?"

Tali glanced over her shoulder, aware that they weren't alone, "Maybe we could talk about this in private? Maybe…" Se trailed off, but Shepard knew what she was getting at and it made him beam at her, "My cabin is always open to you, Tali. Come on."

And with that, they both stepped into the elevator and began to ascend to Shepard's cabin.

* * *

"Here we are, do you want a drink?" Shepard asked before he realized that anything he could possibly offer her would probably kill her.

"No thanks, Shepard. I would prefer not to die tonight." She replied with a light chuckle. She sat down at an end of Shepard's L-shaped couch and Shepard sat at another.

"So Tali…" Shepard tried to begin again.

"With my life." She answered without hesitation.

"What?"

"You asked if I trusted you, and I do, more than anyone I've ever met. Why do you ask?"

Shepard sighed to himself, "I've been gone for two years, Tali. A lot changed while I was… well, dead." He took a moment before continuing, Tali calmly listening to is troubles with her hands in her lap, "I feel like I was robbed. My entire crew is gone, and those who I've seen again are completely different. Garrus is always brooding because of something that happened on Omega, and according to Ashley, I'm a traitor to the Alliance."

Garrus told Tali that they had run into Ashley on a human colony that was being attacked by the collectors, and that she and Shepard fought about his absence… among other things.

"Everything's changed, and everything's been taken away. I needed to know that I still had… something." Shepard looked truly hurt, and Tali knew that she needed to do _something_.

"Shepard," she slid closer to him and put her hand on his arm, "I know this must be hard for you. Personally I always thought Ashley was a bosh'tet," she paused as Shepard chuckled at her vulgarity, "but it was rough on everyone after you died. Everyone at least _tried_ to move on, some just did it better than others. I know I never really did." Tali kicked herself after saying that. How could she let _that _slip out?

"I'm sorry." He said quietly, "I didn't know it was so hard for you. What did you do?"

She took a slight pause before answering, "The Alliance had a big memorial service for you on the Citadel, and everyone went. Some of us cried, and some of us were dead silent. After that everyone just… parted ways. As for me, I went back to the Migrant Fleet."

Tali sighed, "It was quiet, but not the kind that you can get used to. I sort of just, did what was required of me, no more, no less. Apparently, that was enough for me to be assigned the more dangerous missions, like the one to rescue Veetor. I was depressed, Shepard. I missed you." She paused with a hint of sadness in her voice, "But it's not important now. You came back and I'm here for you. You didn't lose everything."

Shepard just smiled and pulled Tali in for a hug. The two spent the rest of the night reminiscing about the trouble they had gotten in on the original Normandy and gossiping about their current squad, all while Tali leaned on Shepard as they spoke. Even though everything changed, something had gotten better.


	3. Watching

**A/N: Sorry about the lack of any recent updates, I've been a bit preoccupied. The focus will be more on Tali this time around, since I figured it's been kind of light on her perspective thus far. Don't forget that feedback is welcome.**

Tali and Garrus were sitting in the mess hall during breakfast, the room being somewhat quieter than usual. They both noticed this, but it was too early in the morning for either of them to mention it. Instead, they ate in silence until Shepard approached the two of them from Garrus' side.

"Good morning Tali. Garrus." He greeted in a casual fashion while nursing a cup of black coffee. Tali took a quick glance at the Commander, and realized that he was already in his armor for today's mission.

"Hello Shepard. Why are you dressed already?" She asked bluntly. Shepard had never run a tight ship when it came to little things like dress code, so to see him in fully equipped so early was a little unusual.

"Zaeed was pretty insistent on getting this done as soon as possible." He answered in a somewhat irate tone, "Which means that Vakarian over here needs to be ready within the next half hour."

"You're not taking me?" Tali said in an almost hurt tone. She had gone on _every _mission that Shepard went on when she was available, and this applied on both ships. Was he getting tired of her? Or was she becoming less useful in combat? They both used shotguns, so Shepard probably only kept her around for her tech skills. Were they enough?

Shepard answered quickly, "Sorry Tali, not this time. Lately I've had to take people that I wouldn't normally have come with me on missions to certain places to handle their baggage, so it may box out you two on occasion." Shepard could tell that she wasn't satisfied with that. She and Garrus had become the two he would always take with him, as he believed they were the best squad he could ask for. But he could deduct what she was getting at: _Why are you taking Garrus instead of me? Is he better?_

He tried to put her fears to rest, "Let me be clear; I don't exactly trust Zaeed yet. He's a merc, which already puts his loyalty into question, and he's way too ruthless for my tastes. Not to mention that whenever I try to talk to him just boxes me out with a story about one of his past jobs."

"That last one didn't sound too bad." Garrus chimed in.

"More often than not they end with, "And I was the only one that survived."" Shepard mocked in what could only be described in a butchered Australian accent. "So in short, if things go horribly wrong like they always do, I don't need another unknown variable like Zaeed putting you at risk, Tali."

"I appreciate the thought Shepard, but you know I don't need you to protect me." Tali said in almost a huff. She was flattered, yet she didn't want any special treatment.

"I know you don't, I just don't want to send you on any more suicide missions than are necessary." The two couldn't help but laugh at the otherwise terrifying statement, but Garrus wouldn't have it.

"So throwing my Turian ass on the line is preferable than risking the Quarian. Glad to know where we stand, Shepard."

"So am I. Oh, and while we were talking, breakfast ended. Grab your gun, I'll see you in the Cargo Bay in five." Shepard replied with the biggest shit-eating grin he could pull off. "See you later Tali."

"Good luck Shepard." She replied warmly, her fears of being obsolete gone, or at least forgotten. Upon further consideration, it was probably for the best. She wasn't exactly fond of Zaeed herself, so not having to help him was sort of a win. Not to mention that she got to watch Garrus pout as he shoveled the last of his pulan toast down his throat before running down to the main battery to get his gun. All the while she got to enjoy her tube of "breakfast" before heading back to engineering.

* * *

Tali worked diligently at her station after Shepard left, hoping that he stays safe, yet rationalizing that mercs would probably be a nonissue for the him and his squad. She continued to maintain the ship's core when the sound of light footsteps caused her to turn around. When she couldn't determine who had been making the noise, she assumed it was nothing and turned around to return to work, only to be roughly three inches away from Kasumi's beaming face.

"Keelah!" She exclaimed as she took several steps back, "Kasumi! Don't do that!"

"Why not? It keeps me sharp, and it's fun." The small thief replied in an overly-joyous tone.

Tali sighed inwardly. In the short time she had been here, Kasumi made it perfectly clear that she had taking a liking to her for some odd reason, and would always bombard her with gossip all while trying to wring more out of her.

"Don't try to sound so disappointed," she chided, "I was just wondering if you wanted to come up for lunch."

"It's time for lunch already?" Tali checked the clock on her omni-tool, and she realized that lunch had actually passed two hours prior. She often lost track of time when she worked, only this time a pang of worry filled her, "Shouldn't Shepard be back by now?"

Kasumi just smiled to herself, "That's sort of what I wanted to talk to you about. Come on, I'll tell you when we're in my cabin."

While Tali was confused by what she meant by that, she decided not to ask and agreed to go with her. They made their way to the Crew Deck in silence, stopping only to grab what they were going to eat from Gardener. The two sat down inside the Port Observation room, (which Kasumi ad claimed since no one was using it). "So…" Kasumi began in a very mischievous tone.

"Keelah, I can already tell I don't like where this is going."

"You and Shep…."

"And I was right."

"Hey now, I'm just trying to help. I can tell, Tali. You're in love." Kasumi said in a slightly more serious tone.

Tali was already flustered, "Well, I-I wouldn't say love. I mean, not to say…" Kasumi just sat across from her, smiling. "Damn it."

"Don't be embarrassed Tali. You couldn't ask for a better girl to have on your side." She replied, beaming with satisfaction.

"Why is that?" She questioned suspiciously.

"I don't talk to too many of the people on this ship. However, I do watch and listen to everyone, including Shepard. And I've heard some interesting things."

Just like that, she had Tali's full attention, "What have you heard?"

"It's usually whenever he talks to Garrus. He managed to get Shep to admit that he has a thing for you, and has been trying to get him to stop dragging his feet and just tell you since Haestorm.

Tali wasn't sure she should believe her, it almost seemed too good to be true, "… You're sure about this?"

"One hundred percent. Now," Kasumi smirked, "what are you going to do about it?"

By now she had completely submitted to Kasumi's advice, "I… I don't know. What should I do?"

"Honestly? It's time for you to stop sneaking around." Tali smirked inwardly at Kasumi's hypocrisy, "Wait for the right moment, and just tell him. The whole risk of being rejected is gone, so now you just have to act." Kasumi replied matter-of-factly.

"I suppose you're right. Maybe I could do it today? He's never minded me visiting him in his cabin, even before our mission on Ilos." She replied quietly.

"_Seriously? _Did you actually need me to tell you that he's completely interested? How did you even go into a suicide mission without saying something?"

"We didn't know each other well enough, in fact that whole night we just talked about our lives before we began chasing after Saren, or what we wanted to do in the future…." Tali paused as she thought about it, "Keelah, how _didn't _I say anything."

Just then, EDI's voice could be heard in the room, "In relation to your current conversation, Shepard has just returned from his mission on Zorya.

Tali winced whenever she heard the AI speak, though she couldn't deny its helpfulness, "Thank you, EDI."

"You are welcome, Tali'Zorrah."

Kasumi waved for her to leave, "Go on. Don't let me keep you."

Tali smiled, though she realized that it was probably pointless due to her mask, "Thank you so much for your help Kasumi."

"Go!" She laughed as Tali practically skipped out the room.

* * *

After Tali stepped out of the elevator, she briskly made her way through the CIC to greet her returning Commander, "Shepard! I-" Tali stopped herself when she saw the squad's condition. Shepard, Garrus and Zaeed alike were all covered in singe marks on their armor, soot decorating their tired faces. Though they appeared to be relatively okay, albeit a limp sported by Zaeed that wasn't there this morning, she could tell that they were all exhausted. "What happened down there?"

"Things went horribly wrong like they always do," Shepard paused as Zaeed limped past, "and an unknown variable put us all at risk by sending us on one more suicide mission that was necessary."

Tali would have laughed at Shepard's snide remark if it wasn't for the blatant irritation on his face, "That sounds awful Shepard. I there anything I can do?"

Shepard sighed, "Come by my cabin later tonight. I need a break from this nonsense."

"Sure thing, Shepard." Tali turned around and made her way back to the elevator ahead of Shepard, feverishly thinking about tonight.

"So you're going to say something this time, right?" Garrus asked Shepard after Tali was already descending down the lift to her post.

"I figured it's about time. She seemed really upset that I wasn't taking her down there, so I don't want her getting the wrong idea. Still, it's good that I didn't; things weren't supposed to go so horribly."

"But we made it out alive, freed the workers, and Zaeed seems to respect you to boot. We did good work down there."

Shepard nodded, "I guess so. I still can't help but feel that punching a crew member in the face doesn't warrant a victory, but it's not important. Think we'll be able to trust him when the time comes?"

Garrus shook his head, "He gave you his word, but I'm not sure that'll be enough. You may want to hover over him for a while. See if he's the kind of person you want on your side."

Shepard nodded, "My thoughts exactly. I'll start prodding tomorrow." He replied with a laugh. Even though Shepard dove into his entire crew's social life, no one seemed to mind, and he usually improved their moral by a wide margin. If he wasn't so great with a gun, Shepard would have been an excellent shrink.

"Have fun with that. I'll stick to my giant gun. You know where to find me." Garrus nodded as he turned and walked away. After he was gone, Shepard called the lift and stepped into his cabin. He turned on the water in his shower so he could get himself clean before Tali showed up. As Shepard was just about to get out of his scorched armor, his omni-tool alerted him of a new message. Shepard figured he had enough time to read a simple message before he got in the shower.

After he read the first line, Shepard realized how wrong he was.


	4. Toombs

**A/N: First, 300 visitors on the first day of that last chapter being out? 800 hits? You guys fucking rock, make no mistake about it. I honestly didn't think this would pick up as much as it has, but you guys are a great motivator to keep it going. **

**Second, sorry about leaving you guys with a cliffhanger. I honestly intended to keep this ark down to one chapter, but it got way too lengthy. Anyway, I tried to get this chapter out as soon as I could so you guys wouldn't have too long. Thanks for all the support, and please review if you haven't already.**

Tali was trying to stay calm as the elevator began to ascend. This was the moment that she would tell Shepard, and she _knew _that he felt the same way. She had to remember to thank Kasumi again, and maybe even get her a gift when she had the chance. The door opened, and she stepped into the room separating the lift and his quarters. She took a deep breath, and stepped inside. At least she knew what to expect.

Then she got something completely different from what she expected. The shower was running, which would have prompted Tali to simply wait on the couch, that is, if it wasn't already occupied. Shepard slouched forward on the couch, simply staring at his omni-tool with an expression that Tali couldn't place at first. It wasn't quite sadness, nor was it anger. It wasn't even defeat.

Tali only took one more step further before Shepard acknowledged her, "Hey." He grunted without even looking up at her.

"Hey." Tali replied in a concerned voice. The only other time that she had seen him so upset was after the Council grounded the original Normandy in order to stop them from perusing Saren, and even then he was in higher spirits. And once Tali made that comparison she knew what Shepard was feeling.

It was regret.

"What happened?"

"I got a message." He answered in a low, almost dead voice.

"From who?"

Shepard was silent for quite a while. Then, he finally replied while tapping at his omni-tool, "Here." Right after he forwarded the message to Tali, she began reading:

_What kind of game are you playing, Shepard? I thought you understood when we met at the base. I thought I could trust you._

_You were there when they all died. We were the only ones who survived. You let me kill that scientist for revenge. For them. And now you're working with Cerberus? You're a fucking traitor, Shepard. I have my own merc team now, and we kill any Cerberus agents we find._

_If I find you, I'll enjoy sending you to hell with the rest of your Cerberus friends._

_Toombs_

That last word rang in Tali's mind. _Toombs. _Tali recognized that name. They had encountered him while he was holding a Cerberus scientist hostage. He spoke to Shepard about Akuze, and told him that he had been another survivor. But he was captured by Cerberus, and tortured for years. When he finally broke free, he murdered the entire base's scientists besides one straggler. Shepard could have stopped him but instead… He watched Toombs do it. Toombs was about to kill himself as well, but Shepard talked him out of it.

Shepard has never spoken about what happened on Akuze, but Tali could tell that he carried it with him every day. Tali cursed to herself, _How __**dare **__he accuse Shepard of being a traitor?_ She couldn't wrap her mind around it. Shepard is going against everything he stands for and joining the people who caused the most traumatic moment in his life in order to stop the Collectors; he didn'tthis pain on top of that.

"Shepard," Tali broke the silence as she sat next to him on the couch, "You've never spoken to anyone about Akuze, have you?"

"No, and I never will."

"John. You need to do this. I know you'll always remember what happened there, but if you just someone help you, this wouldn't be half as hard. Let me help you."

Shepard gave her a sad chuckle, "That's fitting."

Tali looked at him in confusion. She had anticipated getting some sort of reaction by calling him by something other than his surname, but she didn't expect laughter.

"There were five Johns in our squad." Shepard continued, "There were fifty of us, so that was expected. But since everyone always got us confused whenever they called for us, we just went by last name. It's just been 'Shepard' since then."

Tali had no idea that even his name was attached to Akuze, "Keelah, I'm sorry Shepard, I won't-"

Shepard stopped her, "Don't say sorry. It sounds… nice, coming from you." His sad smile faded, his head slowly descended again yet while he still faced her, "They were like a family to me. I knew at least all of them by name, and most of them much more than that. We always complained about not getting any action while we were stationed by the colony. If only we knew…"

Shepard stopped for a moment before he kept going, "We had been there for about two months when it happened. I was on patrol duty with Toombs. We were talking about his family; they were some of the settlers establishing the colony, so he got permission from his old CO to join us while we protected it. He had a wife and three kids."

Tali watched Shepard closely. It was clear that he and Toombs had been at least friends, and the fact that he said _had _instead of has didn't imply anything positive.

"Just then, a thresher came out of nowhere… Maybe a hundred feet away. It spit acid all over his back, some of it got on me right here." Shepard gestured to his left shoulder, "Looking back, it probably got mostly on me, seeing as it burned my armor and yet Toombs survived. I don't even know if I would've gone back for him. I was so scared..." Shepard looked down again in shame. It was clear that he hated feeling weak.

"The rest is sort of a blur. We tried guns, biotics, tech, and even heavy weapons, and that was just when we were focusing on one. There were at least twenty. So we ran, and one by one they picked us all off. We realized out running them was pointless as they pushed us deeper in the colony, the rest of us hid in the closest building we could find. It worked for a while, but then those things destroyed it on top of us. No one crawled out behind me. Even I barely made it. It's how I got that old scar on my eye."

Tali never asked about that scar, and figured she'd never figure out where it was from after Cerberus got rid of it. "After they thought we were dead they began destroying the rest of the colony. That's when I… ran and hid in the forest until I managed to make my way back to our ship. The Alliance found me three days later, just orbiting Akuze. I didn't even send out a distress signal."

Tali could tell that he blamed himself for what happened, "There was nothing you could do Shepard."

"I know." He said bitterly, "Still, escaping with my life shouldn't warrant a promotion into N7 and a monument of me on top their graves."

Tali simply looked at him with all the sympathy she could give. Without another word, she held her arms out to him.

He didn't waste the opportunity.

"You try so hard, Shepard." she whispered, "You don't need to carry this with you all the time. You have friends and soldiers who know that you're the best the galaxy has to offer, and nothing about what happened, or will happen, can change that."

Shepard sighed, pulling away from her yet still holding her hands, "Thank you. It isn't gone, but it felt good to talk about it with you Tali. You're always there when I need you… I was going to wait to tell you, but I've waited two years too long." Shepard paused for only a moment.

"I love you Tali."

Shepard held his breath, not knowing what she would say. Tali stared directly into his eyes, never breaking contact.

"I love you too John."

Shepard's eyes had already begun to water from his story, but he was smiling nonetheless, "Will you stay here with me tonight?"

She nodded her head, and without another word, Shepard changed into his regular clothes and slept peacefully with Tali in his arms.

**A/N: And there it is. I hoped you enjoyed the conclusion. And don't worry, I'll stop ignoring that "& Humor" category in the next chapter.**


	5. So It Begins

**A/N: A bit of a short one, I know, but it was incredibly hard to write. I had to comb it three times before I could even call it finished. As always, R&R because you love me.**

Shepard rolled out of an empty bed the next morning. He glanced around the room anxiously, wondering where Tali had gone. It was to his massive relief to find her sitting on his couch, playing with her fingers in her usual nervous fashion.

"Good morning, Tali." He said drearily, "How long have you been up?"

"Not long." She stated as she quickly stood up, still playing with her hands. "I think we need to talk."

Shepard froze. After being so vulnerable last night, Shepard wouldn't be surprised if Tali found him weak and didn't want to be with him. Not to mention that last night had been a massive jump to start off their brand new relationship. Perhaps too fast.

"About last night…" She started, "I need to ask you, where is this going?"

"What do you mean?"

Tali sighed, "I mean where are we going, Shepard."

The ambiguity didn't help with his nerves, "What are you talking about Tali?"

"I don't know much about human relationships, so I need to know where we stand. You know that Quarians almost never own anything for themselves; everything we have is used to benefit the fleet in some way. So when one of us does find a mate, someone to call "ours", we want them to stay with us… for life. I don't know how lightly humans take the word "love" but Quarians value it very highly. So when you say you want to be with me, it might be different than what you think it might mean, so… um…"

Shepard began to smile. He knew that a few well-placed words would put this all at ease, "Tali, I want to be with you. There really is not "set way" for humans to be in a relationship, but I can't see myself with anyone besides you anyway."

Tali seemed to relax a bit at this, "That's very sweet, Shepard. But if you want someone closer to home, someone human, I wouldn't blame you."

"Ehh, Quarian girls are much more beautiful than human girls anyway."

Tali was obviously blushing behind her visor, at least, as far as Shepard could tell, "You have no way of knowing that."

Shepard smirked, "I can hazard a guess."

"Shepard, I'm trying to be serious."

"Who says I'm joking?"

Tali could only sigh, "Just, listen. About… Love." She started, "It's a really big thing to say on the first day, and I don't want us to rush into this. I want us to work."

Shepard took her hands in his and smiled sincerely, "I understand Tali. We can take it as slowly as you like. I want this as much as you do."

"Thank you." Was her only reply, and after a bit more awkward but well-meaning banter, Tali eventually left to start her day, leaving Shepard to his independent thoughts.

He began to poke at his omni-tool in order to call Garrus. When the Turian picked up, however, all Shepard heard was static.

"Garrus? Garrus I've got a lot to talk about and-"

"Shepard! Now isn't the time, I've got some trouble down here myself with your Asian theif!"

Shepard could hear a struggle at the other end of the call, "Give me that! Shepard, what did you do to Tali? She didn't come back from your cabin last night! So help me god Shep!"

Shepard sighed, "Goodbye Garrus._ Goodbye Kasumi._"

With that, he hung up. Even though he had the greatest girl in the galaxy, Shepard could tell that the rest of today would be a massive headache. And he didn't care in the slightest.


End file.
